The Story so Far...

Right, as was stipulated in a recent post the Ute has been involved in some unplanned structural modifications. The good new is that they were 'only' structural and none of the mechanical functions of the good ol' Ute have been interrupted. I would post pictures but I don't have any. Suffice to say the front of the car is pretty banged up, particularly the right hand side guard and right hand headlight/indicator assembly. One of the wheels has also been replaced by the muddy, rusty and otherwise ugly spare.

I know now that you are all wondering (all? Like, three people read this. I guess if it were less it would have to be 'both') how this happened. Well, on the night of Origin one I decided to go for a drive about one third of the way through the game. Ultimately I think this is what caused the crash - I should know better than to abandon an Origin game. On this drive I went around several round-abouts, one of which was out to get me. As I was exiting the round-about water on the road caused my rear wheels to loose grip and begin to spin sending me off course and into a traffic island. I counter steered to evade the island and (once again) managed to over do it. This sent me towards the left-hand side of the road. Over the gutter I went. Though the fence I went. Against the the shed I hit. This is where the car stopped so I switched him off and got out. The rest is pretty standard. Cops came, Mum was worried, Dad was angry, car was fucked.

Now I feel bad every time I look at the Ute. I feel like I've let the old boy down. As much as I want him repaired and back together I don't think our relationship would ever be the same. The spooty crash-repairer wants to spend thousands of dollars and a couple of months repairing him but, and I don't mean to sound disloyal, but I would like it if the Ute were written off. Then we would have the garage space and a little bit of cash (probably not more than $2K) for my car and Mum could trade the Astina for a little Bravo or something.

Maybe if I get under the hood and really wreck the Ute they'll decide to write him off... Talk about disloyal...

We Have the Technology; We Can Rebuild Him

A member of my family has been grievously injured tonight and while he still lives his condition is unstable. It is up to a few persons to decide if the arduous path of reviving him and returning him to full health will be taken or if euthanasia is administered.

I am talking, of course, about the Ute.

Watch this space as a later post will reveal the extent of his injuries and how they were obtained.

Peace.

Heres to the Next Step!

Today marks a turning point in my life. I now have something I can focus. Gone are the days of doing the chicken dance at KFC and 'broadening my horizons' at uni. I now have a CAREER.

I an now a mechanic.

Don't confuse me with a good mechanic though. I still very green. I'm so green that if charlie gets one whiff of me I'll be cannibal food before you can say 'pass me that rattle gun'. Today was my first day and I am conscience of the fact that there is A LOT for me to learn. That being said I did more than sweep the floors and there is some really hardcore stuff going on around me that I keep sticking my nose in.

In other news my family has taken in an intern from America for six weeks. Kristy is 22 and she's wanting to get to know some people here so if anyone would like to meet her let me know.

Two seconds ago a wave of tiredness hit me so I think that's enough for tonight. Its a good thing I only watched the start of Spawn last night... -)

Be Even More Affraid!

We all know that the most dangerous daily activity you can do is go some place in a car, unless its to your mail box - that should be OK. Well, I've got news for you: Going out on the road just got a whole lot more dangerous since I now have my licence!

It took me two goes and surprisingly little hard work but I can now pretty much go where I want, when I want. I often have a choice of vehicles too.

Now the best and worst things about being able to drive:

Best things:
Not having to get lifts
Not being late
Choosing the music
No back-seat drivers
Ute-drifting (hellz yeah!)
Speeding
Taking the long way home
Not having to pedal

Worst things:
Not having an excuse when I am late
Petrol
Having no-one to talk to on the way home from work
Ute-drifting (Oh god...!)

I think the one most worth explaining is the Ute drifting. I guess with bugger-all weight in the back, near-bald tyres and a green driver some skididge in the wet was to be expected but I'm learning a little to fast I think. With a bit of moisture on the road I can now get the rear wheels out whenever I want but I had bad experience on my way home tonight. Last corner before my house I gave it as much as I was comfortable giving it. Slid around the corner than DISASTER! The back wheels gripped up at 5000 rpm and I'm heading straight for the gutter at about 45Km (OK, so its not like warp speed 7 or anything but it wasn't good) so I counter-steer to pull out and manage to turn like 90 degrees on the spot so I'm heading for the other gutter now, and the back of some dude's falcon! Luckily by this stage I've had the sense to back off the throttle and I can get the beast back on its leash but there were a couple seconds there where I thought I was in trouble. Of course, I laughed afterwards.

Have I mentioned I want to be a Drifter?

Do I Watch to Many Cartoons?

Bellow is a vague list of the TV shows I watch:

1) Danny Phantom
2) The Simpsons
3) Family Guy
4) Scrubs
5) American Hot Rod
6) Ben 10
7) Gundam Seed
8) Naruto
9) Top Gear/5th Gear
10) Overhaulin'
11) Kim Possible
12) The Weekenders
13) Recess
14) StandUp Australia
15) South Park
16) Rugrats All Grown Up
17) Fairly Odd Parents
18) The Angry Beavers

So there are eighteen shows listed there. Of the 18, 13 of them are cartoons, three are about cars, one is a sitcom and the last is a stand up show.

So what do you think?

Why Even Blogger?

To be honest not much has happened to me recently. Basically I spend my days either working or waiting for my night shift to start. Kind of a shame really, once you see my payslip. But all of this time not going on adventures has let my noggin mull on a couple of things.

I found myself considering the Bee Gees. The lead sing has an insanely high falsetto voice. What if he had a really deep, Barry White-like voice? It would inject huge doses of cool, especially to lines like "Oh you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a lady's man; no time to talk". Just slow it down a bit and BAM.

I've decided I want to go to Japan. I don't mean like fly in, two nights in Tokyo, fly out. I'm talking three, four months, maybe even longer than that. I want to come home fluent in Japanese and really sick of Sushi and Soy. Maybe I've watched Tokyo Drift a few times to many... It'll have to be a working holiday because, hell, I can't afford to stay in another country for months - I probably can't even afford the air fairs.

There are a few other things I've had on my mind but I'm pretty sure making them public to the Internet having public is a bad idea. You'll just have to ask me :-P.

Peace Out, Y'al

Express Your Expression of Interest

Would anyone be interested in coming with me to Ipswich/Brisbane on the weekend of the 11th and 12th of August (possibly/probably with a day or so either side for whatever) to see Round Four of Drift Australia?

I can guarantee a high level of awesome.

I'd Like to Reiterate...

Damn, if Kurt's wasn't an example of a good party then I don't know what is. Live music, comedy, drama, good food, good booze and great people - it was all there. I just wanted to give a big shout out to the people who really made my party going experience into an extremely good night.

Now only a handful of people would know this (Kurt, Kylie, Helen and Amy) but towards the end of the night I was violently ill. That's why my first thank you has to go to Kylie. She lay me down, got me a bucket, cleaned up all the vomit from in the lounge and basically made what was, for me, an extreme low point in the evening bearable.

Next up, Trent and Wayne. Man, I can't say it enough: You guys rock! You played some awesome songs and you played them well, you copped a lot of shit with a smile and just added something that very few parties get the chance to have. You worked great as a team - Trent you've got a talent for music, don't short change yourself, you could go places. And with Mr. Deep Voice rhythm guitarist to back you up in the interviews you would have a killer image.

The food! The food was fantastic - tasted great and was easy to eat plus there was heaps of it so a huge thank you to Helen for going to such great lengths for us. While we're at it thank you to Helen and Herb for letting Kurt have the party in the first place.

Kurt you bloody so-and-so. You really made the party with antics, speeches and songs to keep everyone entertained. I'll also remind everyone that if Kurt had never been born there would have been no party.

Then just about everyone else. Joe for getting me the Vodka. Laura for sitting with me at the start of the night. Pat and Trend our very own fire twirlers/pyromaniacs (did everyone see Pat light his hand on fire?). Amy for measuring my shots. Louis for giving us something to talk about, being in court and all. Pretty much everyone - remember without party goers there is no party.

So thanks everyone for a great night.

Happy birthday Kurt - Harden the fuck up.

Casino Royale

It was different. Much more subtle than other Bond films. The new image they've created for 007 is very good (except where he gets gay at the end) but the actor guy didn't really pull it off in my opinion. The leading lady on the other hand had an 'okay' character played by a very talented actor. The story was good, if a little difficult to follow although it seams to me as though it was engineered to take advantage in the recent growth in the popularity of Hold 'Em. I was disappointed to miss out on the usual 007 gadgets and they're usual supplier, the ubiquitous and wise cracking 'Q' (most recently played by John Cleese) although I see this as part of the aim of reducing the spectacle of the film - I had similar feelings when the Bondmobile failed to produce rockets, spiked tires or even remote control.

Overall it was an interesting new angle for the series to take but I wonder at how much they've sacrificed for the sake of it.

The Master of Kenjutsu

It has been a pretty good week so far. I've been working a fair bit and I have three shifts over Easter (ca-ching!) so future weeks will be made better and more CD-ful, I've added a number of things to my "Things to do when I'm rich and powerful" list and I have tomorrow off so I can do some Easter shopping and see Mel.

My manager Brian is a pretty good bloke. He's given me a lift home a couple times, he lets me have free food when I'm working and he even let me drive his car once which was one of the best experiences of my young life. Having said this Brian and I disagree on a few things, chiefly how much work I SHOULD be doing and we have a number of different automotive opinions. Arguing that manuals are better than automatics will usually bring KFC Cranbrook to a complete stop if Brian is working.

Now look, automatics are great, especially if you live in a city because it just makes cornering and stoplights a breeze and yes, automatics do have shorter shift times than manuals. However because of the way automatic transmission works you lose power from the engine to the wheels meaning less go-fast potential. This is fine in my Dad's car but in a high powered sports car (say Brian's for example) its just a waste. Automatics also require that you ride the brake for most of your commute which means your replacing brake pads and scrubbing wheels way more often than you have to. I won't even start arguing about the 'real driving experience' (although I will say you can't drift in automatics and that's no fun).

So I've pretty much given up trying to change Brian's mind about that but today when I tell this guy what kind of car I want to buy (suffice to say it has a 2.2L engine) he starts babbling wax lyrical about V8s and cubic inches. Sure in a straight line he'll kick my arse nine times out of ten but give me a bit of bendy road and we'll see who's the boss (manager?). Brian: Its on!

Kenjutsu is one of the 18 disciplines of ninjutsu (the art of being a ninja). Kenjutsu is about the use of swords and similar weapons in combat. The word itself is derived from the two letters 'ken', meaning blade, and 'jutsu', meaning technique.

Rory Contarino,
Soon to be D1GP Champion.

The Good, the Bad and the Expensive

Good news. Well, news which creates the hope that good news is on its way. Tony Ireland will be contacting me within two weeks with the offer of my becoming an apprentice mechanic! I believe that merits a 'boo-yah'. Of course they might contact me saying 'we don't have a job for you' but, y'know, glass half full and all that.

On SBS this evening, for about ten hours, was this big thing on teenage sex and STDs and contraceptives and the whole kip'n'kaboodle. There was one thing that was missed out and its an important point to be made:

Never use glow-in-the-dark condoms.

For starters the idea is silly. Why does a condom need to glow in the dark in the first place? And its only the tip of the condom anyway. It'd be kinda cool if you turned out the lights and *lightsaber noise* you have this glowing, fluorescent cock but no, its only the tip. They also break more easily than other condoms. Don't ask me how I know - just because I like the story doesn't mean you will.

So yeah, can we get that added to the sex ed text books? Good.

Now I'd like to open the floor to debate. I basically have three choices as to where I spend my money. I can get a PS3 (approx. $1500, with all the trimming), a (good) computer (approx. $2500) or save for my first car (approx. $8000). Given that I have about $1200 what do people think I should go for and why?

The person with the best reasoning gets first dibs on whatever I decide to buy when I die.

Rory.

Thursday Night Blues

Two posts on two consecutive nights. Guess who could benefit from a beer...

But, I can't really pin this on my not having a licence. No, I blame my mother for not giving birth to me soon enough to make me 18 today. But thats a whole different ball game and there are a lot of chaos theory/farseer type things I don't want to even get into.

Theres nothing on TV (Saving Babies, FFS) and I think I've played enough playstation this week. I get to go to work again tomorrow though. Wait, thats not a good thing. Better than being bored though. I noticed today that I don't have any closes this week. I'll be the first to admit that closing at KFC isn't that hard, especially when you compare it to the likes of Maccas and some of the other places arround. But would you rather knock off at ten and take all of the free chicken you can carry or stay until a quarter to eleven cleaning evey nook and crannie of a very greasy restaurant?

Before Monday I want to achieve one thing: I want to see my girlfriend (for those of you who don't know my girlfriend's name is Melanie [ie. Mel] and she is very cute). Its worth pointing out that 'see' in this case can mean a great many things but I'll leave that up to circumstance to dictate. So, the plan. Friday night? I work until eight so I can feasibly be showered and at Mel's place by 2030. Given that I'm not allowd to spend the night (*grumbles*) and my parents like sleep I'd probably be picked up at about 2230. Two hours? I don't think its worth it. Saturday I work until ten so the same as friday but more of it.

Sunday, glorious Sunday. I have basketball at about seven, and Mel can come if she really wants to. That gives me the whole day to play with!

I might call her now.

You Stupid Blog!

It was ages before I got MSN and I will never lower myself to the level of MySpace but, due to popular demand, its time I start publicly blogging (read: bitching). I guess this will just speed up any conversations I have as I'll have already complained about all the stuff I feel like complianing about.

So, as my first post there are two things I want to touch on.

Its damn hard for me to find a career at the moment and there a number of reasons for this. My current job slows me down, not having a licence makes life a painful & pushbike-riding experience and my parrents, not to mention the government and aliens. But mostly the first three. Basically as a result of all these factors I can't even aply for a new job until next week. *Grumbles...*

We are in the middle of a drought! Who can really justify using precious precious water to wash a polo shirt, a pair of trowsers and two socks, one of which has a hole in it. No-one, thats who. But here I am every night putting my work uniform through the wash at ridiculous hours. Deary deary me.

To move away from the blogginess evident in this post I'd like to give a shout out to Optimus Prime and the rest of the Autobots who will soon be appearing in they're very own live action motion picture. Has anyone else seen the trailer? Holy spoot does it look sweet! The bit where they're all standing arround the apache and then it transforms and starts wrecking the shop! With the bullets pinging off it! Boo-yah! And was that a Ford Mustang GT Autobot I saw? Birthday hint much, folks.

And thats that. Next time I promise I will have my two cents about CD's versus iPods/MP3. The march of technology indeed.

Your friend and mine,
Rory Contarino


Real men structure tank.